It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
