cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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