remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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