It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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