dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm too high and old for this...
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