I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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