I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
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