you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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