NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
