the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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