a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
