i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
