I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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