break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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