doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
