the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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