Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
