to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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