Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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