so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
