Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
