Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize