is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
