Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
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I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
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Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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