Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
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