so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
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