Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
