He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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