There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
