I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
