Porn is love you can see.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
