I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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