Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
