I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
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I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
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My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying