why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
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Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
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I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?