You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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