the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
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if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
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Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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