I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
