I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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