Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
