dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
