I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
