he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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