taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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