he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
