I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
