she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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