he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
