My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
