i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
