We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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