you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize