He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
