These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
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my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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