I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize