i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
