it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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