She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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