It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
