Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
