YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
