I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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